What I’d Say to the Teen Me

The fabulous Medicinal Marzipan is hosting a teen week this week. The intention is to share about your experience with body image as a teen — to share some inspiration with any young readers who might be looking for some. Many thanks to her for creating such a needed and hopeful project.

When I was in high school, I wasn’t popular. (I don’t guess that comes as much of a surprise.)

But I also wasn’t unpopular.

I had plenty of friends, in different “groups” (ah, high school cliques…), and most of the time I was at least vaguely happy.

But I wasn’t awake.

I don’t mean I was literally in bed (although, for me, that’s perhaps even truer than for many teens. I spent most of my Junior year cocooned in a migraine). But what I do mean is that I’d perfected a clever way of flying just under everyone’s radars – especially mine.

I was friendly beyond friendly.

Ms. Nice

Because, well, it was easier than getting picked on. And it was also easier than figuring out what on earth it would have meant to be me.

Now, I’m not saying I wish I would have been surly and angry all the time. (Surely, my mom remembers more times that I was than I’d care to remember myself.)

But I do wish I’d gotten into a little more trouble. Or been able to shake (even just a bit) the feeling that I was waiting for my life to start.

What I Need(ed) to Hear

At the time, though, I just didn’t think those things were possible. I despised my body so much that I figured the only way I could ever have friends was just to be SO nice and self-effacing that no one would notice my body. Or they’d overlook it because I was so busy throwing myself under the bus at every turn to make things easier on them.

Interestingly, as I reflected on what I wish I’d known then, I realized that these are still things I have to remind myself of from time-to-time. So here’s the support I’d offer to high school me (as well as current and, surely, future me):

• That thing that you think will make no one like you? That’s probably what will make everyone like you in the future.
• Having lots of friends is overrated. Having friends that have got your back is where it’s at.
• Your body right now? It is omg amazing.
• I know you think you look terrible in pictures. But looking back, you won’t believe how absolutely radiant you were.
• People will still like you if you disappoint them.
• Finding shoes that are both comfortable and cute is like your own personal miracle.
• You don’t have to fight your body so hard — or at all. Unbelievably, letting go works really well.
• You don’t need that newest diet book. I promise it doesn’t have the answer  you’ve been waiting for your whole life (because that answer’s been in you all along).
• It’s okay to share your story. Other people love getting to know you – and more of them will relate than you could ever expect.
• You are not alone.
• You are not alone.
• You are not alone.

And one more thing: you are not alone.

It’s not too late to join in this lovely project if you want! Here are all the participation details.